it is my humble opinion that as people we are called to love each other unconditionally no matter what just as Jesus would. this is a lofty goal & great burden at times but doable. many times i am grossly misunderstood, yet my intentions are only positive & good and my heart pure with love. i am horribly flawed and most unworthy and i'm certainly not in poor company.
as i struggle daily to be sure that i make decisions that i can honestly live with each day, i realize that there are times when my choices might be unwise or flat out ridiculous! thankfully as i grow older, more mature and gain better knowledge, i seek to understand as much as i possibly can in this life. i am curious. i ask lots of questions.
i care truly about others. my heart is so huge & heavy for loving others because i didn't receive that love i needed as a child that i find it easier to love the seemingly "unlovable" than the majority of people. often i will give away all that i have in me so that there is nothing left to keep myself going. i realize this is destructive, yet i have faith that i will be renewed. 37 years later, i am still here. living. breathing. dying by each moment that passes. i do not fear death as it holds no dominion over me. once you stare deeply into the darkness and cheat it, beat it or simply aren't permitted to go, you realize there is nothing to fear.
so tired. i pray often for this life to end for me because i know there is rest on the other side. i won't be going until it is time, yet many days i awaken and ask, is this the day?
